There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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