Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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