Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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