Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
