he laminated a picture of his dick.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
