I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
