I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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