gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
