We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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