Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
