Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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