are you so shy because you have an std?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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