also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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