we're blogging at a bar
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
