Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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