OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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