Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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