Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
