Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
