I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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