He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
