yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
