i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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