Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
