I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
