i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
