is wine microwaveable?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You were trust falling into bushes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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