I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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