woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
