While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
