Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
