she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
