I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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