Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
