Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
