Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
