I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
