Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize