i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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