Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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