Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
