alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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