I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
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