I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
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You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize