dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
