can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wish my penis had a tongue
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
