I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
