So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
that's an acceptable place to lick
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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