There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize