he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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