Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
