I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
