4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize