Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize