is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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