His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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