On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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