were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
