coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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