her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
