He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
