RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am naked and annoyed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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