from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
