My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
