please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize