when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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