he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
