Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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