Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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