Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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