i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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