Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
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Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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