sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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