I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
