the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
where am i from again
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
